The phone rings and you see an out of state area code on the caller ID. You answer and the person on the other end describes herself as a singer-songwriter-performer with a successful national singing telegram business. She has a particular client in my geographical area and having checked out my website realizes that my qualifications perfectly match the job. If I am available on a particular Saturday she would like to hire me to perform a singing telegram at this residence.
The woman’s first name is Gayle, she lives/works in New York, she advertises her company as LuvGrams and she’s anything but a professional songwriter or ethical business person.
Gayle phoned my office in 2005 and offered me $275.00 to drive 20 miles on a Saturday afternoon to sing a couple of songs for an elderly woman’s birthday. In this case, Mrs. Mazzone who lived on the Northwest side of Chicago was the client. Gayle, who as it states on her website Luv-grams.com has a staff of professional songwriters (her) offers custom designed, tailor made lyrics and she had written one such parody to the melody of the Dean Martin song Volare. When I received the lyrics about a week before the actual job, I must admit, I thought it was a joke. The lyrics seem to have been put together by a five year old child with little sense of rhyme, awkward phrasing, and did not in anyway coincide with the actual melody; making it nearly impossible to sing. I remember calling Gayle several days before Mrs. Mazzone’s outdoor birthday bash. I told Gayle that I did not understand the phrasing of the jumbled together words in the context of the melody. By her tone, she was irritated that I had not phoned her immediately. However she “fixed” and clarified a couple of issues while on the phone. It still took several days of repeated readings to understand that it wasn’t my problem that I, just couldn’t get it. It simply sucked! However it really wasn’t going to matter. On her day in the spotlight, Mrs. Mazzone would hear some personal tidbits, a few quirky things in a familiar song, sung by a stranger, while her children and grandchildren were all gathered around and smiling approvingly. And that is just what happened! That little nightmare and two other of her favorite Dean Martin songs were belted out accapella with video cameras rolling. I was kindly offered to stick around and enjoy some food that had been grilled but having my wife in the car, I made my way out of the backyard and drove away breathing a big sigh of relief that it had gone over well.
I did speak with Gayle that afternoon to reassure her that the singing telegram was a success. That was four years ago and I am still waiting for a check. After a couple of calls to her office and an excuse or two, she started screening her calls and no longer answering. I suppose I could have tricked her and called on another phone, but that is not my style.
The one thing I did gain from the ordeal was an understanding of the necessity to get, even the most mundane of business tranactions, in writing. There tends to be a kind of cameraderie in the music business therefore I felt comfortable in allowing Gayle to send a check after the job was completed.(This is common practice) But cameraderie did not apply here. Gayle, with her office that supposedly overlooks Central Park is a thief! Who knows how many other entertainers she has intentionally not payed or paying customers for that matter? Despicable! I wonder what she will think when she reads this posting, as it will be circulating all over the internet within a couple of weeks. Probably not much. For one reason or another she has probably been a scammer all of her life. Like most people, I hate being ripped off! I have run two businesses for nearly twenty years and every now and than, some unethical person sticks it to you.
Stay clear of LuvGrams if you are in search of a singing telegram.